the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
