well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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