There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
