WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
