Do you still have your period?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
