Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
