I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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