I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize