Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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