In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize