You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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