He is an equal opportunity slut.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
