This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
