If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
