Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
