i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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