i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
