hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Please don't give away my fajitas
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