I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize