Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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