we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
