FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
