I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
