Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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