So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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