next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
