I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
