Tell her she can't have a vagina
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
