Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
