If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
