Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
