is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
