ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
