Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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