i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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