We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize