what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
