This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
