So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
even my farts smell like vagina
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
