The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
