i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
