he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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