Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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