I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
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