She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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