i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
