Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
