is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
