i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
