I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
