Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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