New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
