he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
