it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
