how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize