do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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