I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
