And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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