whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
