Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
