I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
