32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Randomize
