As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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