ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
