I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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