There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
