make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
