She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
the liver wants what the liver wants
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize