and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
we made out on top of his cat.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I just had sex on a roof
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
