In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
