So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Randomize