In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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