i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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