when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
