I want to have your abortion
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize